- dear journal,(the life of juliet divine who is not me)
julietdivine- September 23rd, 2010
well i was never one for diarys really but here i am.sitting here.writing. oh well it enevitadle right? all girls keep a diary at one point in there lives. i just needed a way to vent and say what i wanted with out having to censor it or becareful about what i say cus people cant keep secrets. well some can...thats a lie only one person i know can keep acctual hardcore secrets with out telling someone else. that person however is not myself, its blair, my best friend. this chick is seriously like my sister no joke, oh! and were cousins. haha guess i should have menchend that. anyway back to what i was saying. i needed a way to vent. you see my life is total crap right now like a complete mess. i guess id better give some like outline of events of my life. you may not care but its reletive to my story. first i had this amazing boyfriend we were in love and life couldnt have been better. till he got mad at me cus i wouldnt sleep with him so he broke my arm. not fun. no one but my friends new cus there was obvioussly no hiding it-the offical one for parents and teachers was i fell out of a tree- but then life got better. i found my one true love-for real this time. his name was markson and he was the only person who got me through robs first visit and not turning into a depressed mess of a girl. thats right i said the first time. his second visit was definantly more psyco. you see markson had moved away. leaving me on my own with our kid. yea yea i know teen pregnancy no sex blah blah blah but we were in love and we where definantly going to be together forever. he was 18 i was 17 about to be nineteen and we were going to get married. i know what your thinking thats stupid were to young yada yada yada. i dont care what you think okay? its my life. anyways we slept together and he moved away. i didnt know i was prego at the time when he left(trust me if i had he would NOT have left). when i found out i fliped. i was like crap.... new house and life for me my parents are so gonna kick me out. they didnt however and they agreed to support me and there little soon to be grandbaby(i love that word). they also said i could find a way to tell mark on my own, but i had to tell him. now heres how rob ties in to this again. they day i found out i got a call. from rob. he said he had something of mine and dememded i come to the beach. why i went i dont know but i did. turns out mark had come back to see me. he couldnt live with out me his mom said. well what happpened-this is hard for me cut me some slack-rob had um found out about us and decided to give rob a peice of his mind. by that i mean he...he.....he slit his throat. he said if he couldnt have me knowone could. we were yelling and screaming by this point and me and my big mouth dared to say he wouldnt brake my arm again. and of course, he did. this time i passed out. the last thing i heard were sirens. when i woke up i escapeed the hospital and whent to the camp site my best briends bree blair and bree boytoy sam where at. i told the whet happened and all this junk. when we were talkignlayet i menchened to blair that i was late... that kind of late. one thign led to another and vola! i was at 7-11 buying a baby test( i dont like pregnancy test its to formal). i didnt know what to do so we came up with a pland eventualy moved on with our lives. there was justa new life among us. annabell jasmin tatum divine, my daughter. my shining star shes my everything. i never knew i wanted a child till one was already here. lets just say the adpotive parnets were not happy when i backed out. a couple years later something else happened. you should know that rob was in jail and i was of sound peacful mind. untill i found out he broke out of jail. i ran out of work and got annabell with no exsplinantion to her teacher and drove home. i would go to my aunts house in canada. we would hide out till i felt things safe. i knew rob he wouldnt stop till he got what he wanted. the door was kicked in but the house want trashed . there was a man standig by the glass back door.he appeared to be watcing my cat who had gottenout. i recognihat black hair. it was to long curling cutely at the nape of his neck. his figure was tell and lean, dressed neatly but wearing those old converse id seen s often. i heard myself say "markson?" but it seemed i was hearing it from out side my body. he turned and there they where. those all to familiar saphire blue eyes, sharp angular features that where still soft and welcoming. i didnt know i was crying till annabell said " mommy your eyes are leaking" . i looked at her and told her they where tears. i looked back up at markson. my one true love. i ran into his arms. a familiar embrace i had been longing for since that fateful day. i didnt want to let go of him. i wanted so badly to never let go my mind was shocked and all i could think was "how?" but annabell said that i was squishing her so i let go. we talked and talked but in fast words beacuse i needed to leave i had said. i wasnt sure how to tell him about annabell. but i didnthave to he figured it out-ever the math wiz-and i called her over and told her who he was. i love what he said" come here squirt give your old man a hug" i was practicaly sobbing at thispoint but my happy family moment was interupted by none other than the one the only rob. yea he bursted n with the force of a bulldozer. there was fighting and arguing and i grabbed annabell and ran for our lives...her life. i new my gun was in the car so i whent there. i couldnt hold anabell so i put her down and told her to run. he grabbed me from behind putting a knife to my throat. " take one step and i kill her" he said to mark. he and anna bell where standing by the open door of the car. i could see her taking small steps to the car. i had taught her well. i knew this day would come. i didnt know what to do. i didnt want to die but i would take my own life to save hers anyday. hers or marks. good girl i whispered. dont talk he yelled. i could feel a small drop of blood running down my kneck. i elbowed him in the ribs then turned around and kneed him where it hurn (i take self defense classes). i ran the car grabbing the gun. i turned and pointed it at rob. mar had gotten the knife away from him and wasstrugling to hold him still the knife wriggling against robs kneck. i felt like i was outside of my body watching this happen. rob had gotten away from markson and rushed towards me. then the unthinkable happpened. annabell ran to me she was scared for me the poor thing. i shot him. but not in time. he had grabed her and cut her arm, badly. he fell down. and it was over. annabell was okay in the end. she'll have a scar but she so okay thats all that matters. me and markson made plans to get married. we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. and we sure as hell would. dead or alive our lives would go on. and rob was definantly dead